Выхожу один я на дорогу

Выхожу один я на дорогу
Стихи: Михаил Юрьевич Лермонтов
Музыка: Елизавета Сергеевна Шашина

Выхожу один я на дорогу;
Сквозь туман кремнистый путь блестит;
Ночь тиха. Пустыня внемлет богу,
И звезда с звездою говорит.

В небесах торжественно и чудно!
Спит земля в сиянье голубом...
Что же мне так больно и так трудно?
Жду ль чего? Жалею ли о чем?

Уж не жду от жизни ничего я,
И не жаль мне прошлого ничуть;
Я ищу свободы и покоя!
Я б хотел забыться и заснуть!

Но не тем холодным сном могилы...
Я б желал навеки так заснуть,
Чтоб в груди дремали жизни силы,
Чтоб, дыша, вздымалась тихо грудь;

Чтоб всю ночь, весь день мой слух лелея,
Про любовь мне сладкий голос пел,
Надо мной чтоб, вечно зеленея,
Темный дуб склонялся и шумел.

mne nravitsa golos u shtokolova, a stikhi lermontova, tak skuchna, i krasivi

Alone, I go out onto the road (1841)
Poetry: Mikhail Lermontov
Music: Elizaveta Shashina

Alone, I go out onto the road;
The rocky way gleams through the fog;
The night is quiet. Nature listens to God,
And one star talks to another.

How solemn and wondrous is the sky!
The earth sleeps in a blue glow...
So why am I troubled? What weighs upon me?
What am I awaiting? Do I have regrets?

No, I expect nothing now from life,
And have no regrets at all;
I seek only freedom and repose!
To forget myself and sleep!

But not the cold sleep of the grave...
I'd like to sleep forever,
But for life to slumber on
In my softly heaving breast;

For love's sweet voice to sing
All day, all night, caressing my ear,
For the dark, ever green oak
To bend down to me and rustle.


too bad i'm an internet freebies leecher Read more!

Я Вас любил (ya vas lyubil)

Я
Вас любил, любовь еще быть может
В душе моей угасла не совсем
Но пусть она вас больше не тревожит
Я не хочу печалить Вас ничем

Я Вас любил безмолвно, безнадежно
То робостью, то ревностью томим
Я Вас любил так искренно, так нежно
Как дай Вам бог любимым быть другим.

Романс "Я вас любил" нап стихи А. С, Пушкина

ya vas lubil;

lyubov isho, b'yt mozhet;

v dushe mayei ugasla ne sovsem;

no pust ona vas bol'she ne trevozhet;

ya ni khachu pechalit' vas nichem;;;

Ya vas lyubil;

to molnost'yu, to revnost'yu tomim;

ya vas lyubil, tak iskrenno, tak nezhno;

kak dai vam Bog lyubimoy byt' drugim

Pushkin wrote this for someone's wife..you'd be surprised how often this happens, and i'm surprised at how beautiful this poem really is


my favourite rendition of this poem

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Okcr7gcCM9o Read more!

25 years

22 september 1984

it's been a beautiful life
although i made a lot of mistakes, sometimes repeatedly
the ups and downs.. Read more!

goodbye ramadhan..

the masjid in front of htar which i went for terawih..one of the perks of having a car


ramadhan came and went by...
to see this blessed month next year..is enough of a reason for me to keep on living..
hope to see you again dear friend

other than that selamat hari raya aidilfitri everyone maaf zahir batin

a friend told me to keep on writing, even though it's been months..thank you for the support..


a lot happened this past few months for me..it was the most eventful, and yet, nothing happened
the memories were beautiful, but the ending, although not as well for me, hopefully is for the best and i hope the choices made will be the happiest for others.as for me i feel like i made some stupid mistakes, but this is one of those times when mistakes can never be repaired, or forgiven...i'll live with this regret...this clown still have a show to put,and an audience to entertain..i'll paint that big red smile over my face..and live on..

Read more!

to shafiq and mazidah

congrats bro







Read more!

my third posting

i am now in orthopaedics..so currently i'm in my third posting after having done with medical and o+g ..it's been approximately 10 months since someone called me doctor in Klang hospital
my entries seem to be getting darker tones and scarcer than ever, but believe me i am the same man, though i couldnt help but bear a grudge for having to extend another 2 months of my already two-year-long housemanship training while i was in my 1st posting in the medical department.
truth be told i do enjoy my work, other than what i said just now, i like being a HO, even the 2 long months of extension was beneficial in a way (I had more time to do more procedures than normally a houseman in Klang Hospital would.)

I found myself more relaxed doing stuff, and some people seem to think it’s a big deal i finished those 2 previous postings, but i wouldnt say I’m ready for ortho just yet...every dept is different and it’s helpful to know what exactly you are doing no matter how many times you’ve done something similar in another department.

Orthopaedics is a great relief in comparison, finishing at 5 is only 2 hours earlier, but after coming home only after 7 every weekday, it’s so refreshing.

I’m actually doing tagging calls, which means i have to stay until 10pm (in the other departments its up to 11pm, but who’s complaining right), but the feeling of going back early is just too great, I’d still go back 1st, rest,eat and pray and then return to look for something to learn.

The calls are also something i’m looking forward to..4 to 5 calls per month- approximately half of what i’ve been doing in my previous postings (approx. 7-9 calls per month in medical, 11-12 calls per month in o+g which usually means a train of eods throughout the month)

The ratio of patients per HO is also so little in comparison i could’nt help but smile whenever i think of it.

It doesn’t mean starting as a HO in ortho would make you less of a HO though,IMO. I know a few guys who were really smart coming from ortho, who could do their jobs in their new depts just as efficiently.

Life is changing...the guys who got married are mostly expecting. I finally bought a means of transport and will soon move out of this old skool hostel.I’m starting to contact my old buddies especially those near me. Facebook is a great tool for this (besides fster). We’ve been laughing off electronically (no, not as if in the transformers voice, though it'd be cool if i could) as we look at some of the more comical moments in our student lives in zam’s photo album.

The kids in volgo are coming back again, and some fresh blood will enter the service of the Ministry of Health...mmm..fresh blood..

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an entry to wrap up 5 months and get some crap outta my head

5 months.
if i was truly faithful to this blog.it would have been filled with entries, love/hate stories of my life's work, how it changed me, touching goodbyes to my overdue stay in medical, the new department i came into, my newfound struggles there, my recent assessment, hopefully my expected leave from the o+G department, the new phone, the new car im planning to buy, my latest exploits, the upcoming wedding of my friends, my ex-roommate's birthday, my gourmet adventures with my current roommate, my exciting, fun and definitely enriching experiences in the labour room the past month, and how much i miss my university life, and how thankful i am they taught me to be a doctor, especially dr alexander zharkin and the other professors who taught me exactly what i needed to be an accoucher (to this i defer from a friend of mine's comment to me in private that what he learnt did not help him much- it helped me TREMENDOUSLY, in fact, what they taught me was more than what i learnt here).of course, here is where i learned to BE a doctor. take responsibility (however little it is now,thankfully) and train to become a good one, or at least a functional one who knows what he's doing.
my struggles in the medical department taught me the hard way that here i need to learn the local medical jargon, learn how to present them correctly, how to work with the system, and the current local protocols and management.and it works. and also to keep studying. even the consultants take time to read bak once in a while...it'd be egoistic for me not to study just to prove my university taught me well enough.which i did for a short period, for which i hated myself for taking in too deeply coincidentally hearing what some arrogant colleagues of mine thought of the supposedly inferior doctors the government sent to learn in some foreign country or other.
i'm actually smart enough to keep it to myself, brewing it in and occassionally annoying (hopefully not) my roommate- those comments which made some actually nice people into annoying jerks whenever i thought about those few dumb words they talked that day. i mean, it's okay to have pride in your university, but downgrading others just to show you're better? any high school kid can pull that off, and anyone with any common sense can see through that ruse.
the only thing we can do about it though, is to show them what we've got.just give those 'inferior'
docs a few months, and, in my case, i'll be just like any doctor you can point to. sitting with me in that conference room. believe it. (yeah i kinda still hold a grudge- it's a good motivational tool, see)
as for you guys still in my alma mater. have faith and study well.be motivated in learning, which i know most are.try to do the practicals here when you are in the clinical years. we are not high school kids who suddenly become doctors in hospitals. i know my six years were not wasted. i only had to learn the common local terms, investigations, and protocols (which are actually really simple compared to our textbooks)

oh and the original thing i was thinking about:

8 hours a day, no calls, 10 beds 2 housemen, intense cases and lotsa cute babies - LABOUR ROOM ROCKS! Read more!